I started writing my goals down yesterday. Long term, monthly and weekly goals. It’s important to be specific. How are going to achieve your goal? What do you have to do in order to accomplish something? It’s also important to know why you’re doing the things you are doing. For example I wrote, “make a portfolio” and I don’t know why, I just wrote “for what?” next to it. If I don’t know what I mean by it, how can I accomplish it? This is just a smaller goal, it’s more important to have big goals that motivates you into doing the littler (is this a word?) goals. And it needs to be written down. It has to be written down in order for you to realize it.

I’ve struggled to come up with goals. There wasn’t anything that I wanted. I didn’t desire anything. I still don’t have a passion. About, wow, 9 months ago now, I started writing my thoughts down. Mostly because I just wanted to “pass the time” when my anxiety or mood was bad. I could write for hours if my hand wouldn’t cramp up… much easier on a computer. The other day here I wrote for 3 hours straight. My mood was awful, and I think it was because I fell off the diet wagon for a couple of days. I know it’s related because there were a few months where I didn’t write at all. Not because I was busy, but because I didn’t need to. I see the pattern in my daily log of going out (my new year’s resolution). Not just my diet but also if I work out too hard. It seems related to stress, all types of stress that I put on my body and mind.

I see this blog as a project. A reason for me to write. Can I be successful in my goal of becoming a filmmaker?