Looking back I remember trying to take notes while watching movies while I was sick. I remember not being able to. I think my brain was “just” damaged. It irritates me when people don’t understand the risks of pharmaceuticals. Anyway, I meant to say that I think I’ve wanted to be a film reviewer for a long time, but never been able to.

I remember in high school, in one class we would just write whatever was on our minds, I think almost everyday. I remember the teacher writing “You should write for Rolling Stone magazine!” in my notebook. For some reason that resonated with me, and I remember it even though I don’t remember much at all of my high school career. Honestly, I think the teacher was surprised that I even had any thoughts, seeing as I did not talk at all.

I do remember writing a lot about music back then and probably movies as well. I don’t write about music anymore because I don’t have any musical talent. I’ve tried and I can’t tell if something is good or bad. I can tell the difference between two notes, but I couldn’t tell you the name of those notes. No matter how many times I’ve tried to listen to the notes over and over again, I just don’t get it. Must be why I listen to so many genres, or I don’t really know what genres I listen to. Either I like it, or I don’t. Actually it takes a lot for me to not like something. Hearing the same thing over and over again is what makes me not like something. That might just be annoyance.

I only remember writing about Bowling for Columbine, and that we live in a culture of fear. I still believe this and am surprised by my intellectual ability back then. The teacher agreed with me, can’t forget that.

Then the klonopin happened. I lost the ability to focus. I stopped writing. I remember now. Saving this for a future post.

I’ve come to realize that I can talk for a long time about movies. If I meet someone from a different country (for example, Italy), I really want to say “oh, I loved It’s a beautiful life!” but I don’t actually do that… Maybe I should start. I’ll be the weird person that only talks about movies. Isn’t that better than being the person that doesn’t talk at all?